來訪者是真的出自關心、還是只來八卦?

三個獵人的故事

天,爸爸從溫哥華寄了一封電郵來:
(我跟家人很多時候都是用英文溝通,所以電郵也是英文的呢!


Tina my girl,
 
I know you are very depressed these days. I don’t know what to say to comfort you, but just want to tell you a story:
 
There were three young hunters in a village. Every young man in that village had to leave home and hunt for a living when grown up.
 
The first hunter is "fully geared"- He made good studies on the hunting technique and he had the most advanced hunting tools because he was from a wealth family plus he was eager to learn. He made good hunting result and celebrated every time.
 
The second hunter is "half geared" – He does not have very good knowledge about hunting at the beginning. So he hunted for small animals like rabbits and foxes. He has to go hunting from early morning to late evening every day because small animals could not be sold for big money. He spent the money to maintain his living and trade for better hunting tools. So he did not have spare money to celebrate. Occasionally, he joined one of the celebrations of his rich friends, but he still woke up and hunt in the early morning next day, because he knew that if he stop hunting one day, he will inertially stop hunting again the other day. He had built up the momentum of hunting everyday. A few years later, he bought very efficient hunting tools and he had learnt much better hunting technique from his experience. He is now hunting for better life.
 
The third hunter is "gearless" – He could have learnt the hunting technique but he gave up that chance before he grew up, blaming that his family was not giving him good support. One day, his family decided to buy him a rifle. So he learnt how to use it and got a "right to use certificate". He then went out to hunt. A few months later, he was not happy with what he hunted while comparing with his friends. Then he tried to hunt the bigger animal but he did not have better hunting tools for that. So he was frustrated and got drunk in the celebration party. He did not want to wake up in the morning because of many excuses given to himself. He then gave up hunting and blamed his family and his life again.
 
Tina, it is no way that you are the first hunter, but I hope that you could be the second one. Don’t be the third hunter because he can only participate in the joy and celebration of the successful of the others. His mind was empty when the party was over.
 
Everybody has his depressed time of failure, but successful always learns from failure. It’s time to have a in-depth self-review, and determine what to do next – Do not give up anyway.
 
I know saying is easy, but I did passed the same hard times as yours when young. "Easy" and "Difficult" is all defined by yourself. The more that you do not want to face and challenge, the more difficult you will feel.
 
 
Love from Dad


我把這封信讀完再讀,讀了好幾遍,想給爸爸一點回覆,但打了些字又刪了一些。
終於,只問了他兩個問題:
Dear Dad,
 
How come you know that I’m depressed?
Then do you know what makes me depressed?
 
Love,
Tina
本來想告訴他自己近來的生活、體會。
可是想起這九年半以來,他也從未「親自」「直接」給我來電好好的談,我甚麼也不想告訴他,甚麼也不想說!
他只從姑姐和奶奶口中知道關於我但又不確實的「近況」,就給我這半開解半訓話的一封電郵,這算甚麼?
他自以為很了解我嗎?
他知道些甚麼?
他知道個屁!
自從上次奶奶勸他給我來個電話到現在,我等了一個月了!
我沒有收過他的電話,只收到這封狗屁電郵。
我說,在他來看,我最好死掉了也不要給他麻煩!
電話從沒有來,電郵一年也只是兩三封,我差點兒忘了有這個爸!
 
沒錯,二十四年前,我的出現是一個mistake;
但是今天,我的mistake不再跟你有關係!

5 responses

  1. Ar Tung

    你算好了,我從未收過爸爸的關懷信。
    最多也只有責備信。
    電話也從來不會主動打給我。
    從表面看對我漠不關心,
    小時我很惱他。
    但成長了,視野比從前透徹,
    我看到當我努力時和成功時,
    他那默默的從心笑了出來的樣子,
    他不說一語也感受到他的愛。
     
    雖然你的家事,我不盡了解。
    但要人關心自己,就先關心別人。
    朋友,親人亦然。溝通大門由自己先開吧。
    上一代的爸爸,總顧尊嚴,不流於表面。
    可能他們想不通。
    那你就跟他鬥快想通吧!
    誰先想通,就誰先開這道大門囉。
    別讓時間走在你前面,使自己一直回看過去。
     

    3 九月, 2006 (週日) at 11.4411Sun, 03 Sep 2006 11:44:58 +000058 (HKT)

  2. Dennis

    水水
    家事太多歷史包伏,
    我只能說我自己是一個非常硬頸的人,
    随著年紀的增長,
    人返而沒有那麼固執。
     
    反正等對方來電或致電對方,
    結果都是對話,
    你主動去聯絡也不失是一個好方法呢。
     
    正如救恩是白白的得來,
    相信<預定論>的會得救,
    不信<預定論>的也會得救,
    何需理會誰首先踏出第一步。
     

    3 九月, 2006 (週日) at 21.3521Sun, 03 Sep 2006 21:35:43 +000043 (HKT)

  3. 水の魔女 § 若千

    東叔:
    我爸爸不是不關心我, 而是因為怕老婆所以才不敢找我……奶奶跟姨婆都是這樣說的……
     
    Uncle:
    如果我的電話能夠打出IDD, 我還會一直在等嗎?

    5 九月, 2006 (週二) at 01.1101Tue, 05 Sep 2006 01:11:04 +000004 (HKT)

  4. Ar Tung

    還是信自己耳朵好,
    自己所感受過才叫事實,
    電話既野,事在人為。
     
    還有我在網上面周圍睇人地嘀野,
    只不過一來在於八掛心理,
    二來從中除靈感尋智慧。
    得罪之處敬請多包涵。

    5 九月, 2006 (週二) at 12.2912Tue, 05 Sep 2006 12:29:48 +000048 (HKT)

  5. 水の魔女 § 若千

    東叔:
    你說得對, 還是相信自己耳朵為實;
    爸今早給我來電了!  ^o^
    還跟兩個小弟弟談了一會兒, 他們真是很可愛呢!  嘻嘻!
     
    另, Space就是用來分享的嘛, 水水怎敢說得罪呢?
    或許水水說話向來不圓滑, 東叔不要見怪吧!  >.<"

    5 九月, 2006 (週二) at 12.4612Tue, 05 Sep 2006 12:46:55 +000055 (HKT)

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